30 Mindful Ways to Pay It Forward - By Tangee Veloso

I’m sure most of you have heard or seen the movie, “Pay It Forward” featuring Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osment. This movie was based on the best-selling novel by the same name written by Catherine Ryan Hyde.

The movie is about a young boy who did 3 good deeds for others in need. All the child wanted in return was for them to pass on the good deed to three other people so that the practice of helping one another could spread exponentially. Thus, creating a conscious social movement that could impact with making the world a better place.

I remember watching this movie when it first came out in 2000 and was so moved by its message. I also remember definitely being inspired to pay it forward to others and I’m sure I did (exactly what I did I can’t recall because it was 12 years ago). And then it dawned on me just now (as my fingers are quickly touching the keypad to express my thoughts onto the screen) that it was that long ago! The question that pondered in my head was “How often have I done random acts of kindness for people since then?” I mean, I know I have definitely given food and money to several homeless people standing by an exit of a freeway but how about other strangers I’ve come across? Have I really gone out of my way to help in a meaningful way to strangers that has created such an impact in their lives that has inspired them to also pay it forward to others? I honestly don’t know.

Sure, I’ve inspired several people and have actually moved them in some way that has impacted their lives but I truthfully don’t know when the last time I did a random act of kindness to a stranger that possibly moved them in the sense that they would want to spread the joy to other strangers too. Well I think it’s time I do!

Often times, we get so caught up in our own lives that the true meaning behind “paying it forward” can be but a faint, distant whisper in the breeze. Too often the phrase gets tossed around and used so loosely that some people don’t even know what the term even represents anymore. And sometimes the act of being kind can get buried beneath our own issues that we feel we have nothing more to give. We become too overwhelmed with our own lives, our own families, our own kids…too tired, too stressed out, too much in a hurry to be present. Present to the fact that when we give freely from our hearts, how much more we truly receive in our own lives…just the feeling of giving is so rewarding.  But trust me, I get it.  Sometimes we have to do what we have to do in order to take care of our our own lives and nurture self-love and self-care.  But in times when we CAN give back - it can put a smile not only on someone else’s face but our own, it can decrease the stress and overwhelm that we feel as parents, and can even attract more ease and happiness in our lives.

And an even more gratifying feeling is knowing that when we model this to our children, we get the opportunity to show them another wonderful way to become compassionate and unconditionally loving towards others. Wow! Talk about bringing a whole new level of awareness to the phrase, right?!

When we do random acts of kindness, it actually shifts our way of thinking, our way of being. Instead of saying to ourselves, “What’s in it for me?”, we start to ask ourselves, “How can I create a little happiness for someone with no strings attached?”

So if you haven’t paid it forward in awhile or would like to do more of it, now is the time. It’s time to move beyond our own “stuff”, our own stories and create a new story to tell. It’s time to find ways to actually give it forward.


What are several simple ways you can start doing this today? 

1. Pay the highway toll fee for the vehicle behind you. 
2. Buy food for a homeless person (or participate with an organization to feed the homeless). 
3. Give a warm jacket or blanket to a homeless person. 
4. Put money in someone’s parking meter that is about to expire. 
5. Pay for someone’s food behind you in line. 
6. Bake some goodies for a new neighbor or any neighbor for that matter! 
7. Let the person in line behind you go before you at the cash register. 
8. Volunteer at a non-profit organization that helps the needy 
9. Support a good cause either financially or physically 
10. Visit an ill patient at a hospice 
11. Volunteer at an elderly home or an animal shelter 
12. Offer to baby sit for a family 
13. Make a meal or help clean for a family who recently had a baby 
14. Loan something to someone and don’t ask for it back 
15. Put money in a street performer’s jar 
16. Spend time with children at an orphanage 
17. Donate clothes, toys, books to a shelter for battered women and children during the holidays and/or anytime of the year 
18. Be a mentor 
19. Invite the less fortunate over for dinner during the holidays (or anytime for that matter) 
20. Donate time/money/energy towards a fundraiser for a school 
21. Give your services pro bono 
22. Help grow a community garden 
23. Donate your hair to Locks of Love or other organizations that make wigs for people who need it 
24. Plant a tree or clean up garbage at a park or the beach 
25. Pay for a stranger’s meal at a restaurant 
26. Pick someone at the bank, post office or grocery store and make a special card with your child and/or buy a gift to give to them 
27. Give all your recyclables to a homeless person so they can collect the money 
28. Give a loan to this organization, Kiva that is helping and empowering people around the world 
29. Get your neighborhood/community to donate toiletries to Children of the Night which helps to keep kids off the streets 
30. Continue to be present and keep your eyes peeled for anyone you see that looks like they may need a helping hand, i.e. holding the door open for an old lady, helping to carry groceries out for a single mom with kids, etc. 

These are just some of the ways that you can give a helping hand. There are many other ways to do it, too. But there is one way that is definitely important and that is spreading the word! If someone wants to thank you and pay you “back”, let them know that you’d prefer for them to pay it “forward” and do something thoughtful for three people they don’t know and then ask those three people to do something thoughtful for three more people and so on. This way it continues to consciously increase unconditional love throughout the world.

Just as Ghandi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. So let’s continue to be the “pebble” in the pond that creates a ripple effect of consciousness!



About Tangee Veloso

Tangee Veloso is the founder of Family Love Village (FLV), the world’s leading conscious community, website and iMagazine called the FLVillage Crier for families passionate about parenting through connection and eco-holistic living. She is also a life coach and author of a conscious parenting book called “Taming Your Wild Child: 7 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Confident Children!”

Her commitment in creating a supportive forum and a conscious parenting movement by co-creating FLVillages globally where families can be educated on parenting through connection from the many legendary trailblazers before her, as well as learn about becoming eco-friendly advocates and supporting a more natural, holistic lifestyle is the main focus for FLV. Tangee is an eco-mamapreneur, a performer, and a devoted and loving mama to her 6 year old son..

HOW TO HAVE A SEXY, SPECTACULAR, SHINING LIFE ~By Kim Somers Egelsee

Do you want to have the kind of life that is excitingly appealing, glamorous and filled with adventure; a life where you reveal the real you, your truest self, living on purpose with passion? You truly can!

Here are some tips and tools for living the life of a sexy, spectacular star. You do deserve it.

1. Plan something exciting at least three times per month; this can be a trip, an event, dinner with friends, going to a fabulous art museum, horseback riding and more.
2. Schedule vacations. 
3. Hang around exciting people; decide who you'd like to know and take steps toward that. This is living with intention. 
4. Follow your heart and do something you're passionate about daily.
5. Make a list of things you dislike doing but need to do and make them fun, creative or unique
6. Turn on music and dance.
7. Dress up.
8. Reward yourself.
9. Watch, attend, read or listen to  something meaningful...learn and grow.
10. Get bold and out of your comfort zone and try something new.

"9 Ways to Overcome Growing Pains" ~ By Tangee Veloso

“Self love is accepting yourself, as is. 

Reach for the stars…but love yourself right where you are.” 

~ Unknown

In the last issue, “5 Ways to Create Space and Feel Clutter-Free”, I shared tips on creating more space for yourself emotionally. This has been the on-going theme for myself for the past month or so. Finding the balance and peace within myself so that the eye in the storm doesn’t get swept into the tornado’s whirlwind cadence has definitely been challenging to say the least. But the more space I make and the more clutter I clear while being able to silence the chatter in my head, the more I am able to listen to the answers bubbling up within.

I remember awhile back when the noise was just too loud to fully listen to my intuition back then. I can recall being swept away in the tornado ten years ago in a situation that seemed like a very similar situation that I am in now. Where I had lost everything: my job, my home, my relationship. Yet this time around, although somewhat familiar, there was something different. I was different. I had grown from that once lost girl who was desperate to find a way to get things back to “normal” or back to the way things were before to me now having a deep sense of knowing that I no longer wanted things to be the same as they were. Back then I spiraled down a dark hole of self-destructive behavior while now I am reclaiming my power and facing my fears head on.

This time around, I am not getting the same sense of me losing everything. As painful and challenging as it may feel a lot of the time, I actually for the first time feel like I am gaining something: ME. I am finally at a place in my life that loving myself comes first. This is the only way that I can model this to my son to love himself is if I embrace it myself, too. And sometimes loving oneself requires letting go of situations that no longer serve the person you are evolving into.

Another thing that I have noticed is that this time around there are no agendas or expectations from anyone or from any particular situation. I just continue to practice being really present. Present to my feelings and allowing myself the space to truly feel the emotions as opposed to numbing them. Present to taking moments like this to ponder through my writing so that I can place my attention on the Truth and see the bigger picture beyond the circumstances, beyond the pain and feel gratitude for everything that I am experiencing; knowing that everything is supporting my growth. I still have those moments where I go into a place of lack and fear as I consistently look for a job while building my businesses at the same time to pay the bills and put food on the table. Yet I keep placing my attention on the present moment and continue to do what I love, as well. Like writing, for instance. This is my first love and has always been a healthy way for me to release. And although the changes feel scary at times, there is something definitely different this time around and it is feels liberating.

It has been told by doctors that when children go through growing pains, the pain is triggered when their bones grow and stretch over the bone’s thick covering. To me, metaphorically, the pain that triggers us adults when going through drastic changes is a gift that allows our inner strength to stretch beyond Ego’s thick covering, as well.

At least for me, it’s an opportunity that allows for choice; to choose whether I am going to become a victim of my circumstances or to rise above them, to trust and to continue following what feels True for me. To make decisions that intuitively feel light and come from a place of love rather than making choices out of need and fear that tend to feel heavy. This too reflects on all aspects of my life: how I choose to parent with my son; whether I respond from a place of love or react from a place of fear. It is all relative to one another and all begins with a choice.

Just like growing pains for a child is considered a rite of passage so too are the moments when we experience change on an emotional and spiritual level. Unlike most rites of passage that are usually celebrated, some transitional periods require a more intimate healing process.

I recently wrote a book for my son about change to set the stage and help with the transitions that were about to occur in our lives. This is a great tool for whenever you are introducing something that might feel foreign and scary for them at first (i.e. going to their first dentist or doctor visit, going to school for the first time, or when a parent goes on their first business trip away from the family, etc). I learned this wonderful tip from Ruth Beaglehole from Echo Parenting and Education.

The book I wrote for my son is called “From Caterpillar to Butterfly: When Things Change” and it talked about the different stages of a caterpillar’s life. Its message shared that just like caterpillars shift their form so too does life for us humans. Towards the end I gave reminders of ways that he can release his frustrations in a healthy way in case any of the changes felt a bit overwhelming and scary.

As important as it is for us to support our little ones through their emotional growing pains, it is also crucial for us parents to find tools and resources to help us through our own, as well. And it all begins with taking the first step towards loving ourselves.
The following are a couple of tools that can support more self-love:

1. Acknowledgement - becoming aware of our emotional pain seems like an apparent thing to do but often the emotional trauma lies beneath the surface; below the energy field that we are sometimes not aware of that has most likely stemmed from our childhood. And then surprisingly, the emotional distress that we are feeling sometimes isn’t even our own!

Do you ever sometimes feel sad or angry for no apparent reason? According to Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer from Access Consciousness, 98% of our thoughts, feelings and emotions aren’t even our own! If this is the case, that is a pretty insane percentage of just how much of other people’s emotions and programming that we carry on our shoulders that take up space. Precious space that could be used to create what we really want to experience in our lives.

The good news is there is a simple and amazing tool from Access Consciousness that you can do and teach your children to do, as well when big feelings arise for either one of you. It is called “Who Does This Belong To?”. This link shares a short video and brief description on how to use the tool that can give you more freedom and joy when you are willing to ask this question.

After you acknowledge the pain, the next step is:

2. Forgiveness - too often we are hard on ourselves and judge our own behavior (of course something that was most likely passed down from our childhood). Sometimes it seems easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves but in order to model the real value of forgiveness to our children, we must learn to give our inner child empathetic connection, as well.
After forgiveness, it is about making the decision to move forward towards feeling complete joy in our lives.

In order to say “Yes” to ourselves and begin to heal our own wounds, the next several steps are a summarized version from an excerpt from my book, “Taming Your Wild Child: 7 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Confident Children!”.

These steps involve:

1. Actually choosing you - Taking the time to get your needs met
2. Breathing to get grounded - Allow the brain gibberish to dissipate by focusing on the breath.
3. Listening to your heart’s true desires of what you love doing - Once you have chosen to start loving yourself and have slowed down the brain chatter through breathing, now it’s time to listen from your heart to feel what drives your passion.
4. Honing in on a list of things you love doing and writing them down on a piece of paper- You may know what gets you ticking and ignites the passion, but writing it down will be a good reminder for you to start doing more of the items on that list.
5. Then actually doing what you wrote on that list - What is actually possible when we are actually doing what we truly love doing that enriches who we are being in the world? What if by beingwhat you love to do awakens you to your Truth and fills you up, instead of just filling a void?
6. Smiling - Whether you’re looking at yourself in front of the mirror or walking past a stranger, smile! Research has shown that smiling doesn’t only affect one’s mood; it can affect one’s health, as well.
7. Being thankful - Being grateful is such an essential piece to the whole puzzle of manifesting what we love to do. When we give thanks, it is vibrating to the Universe that we are ready to manifest more of what we want to attract in our lives.

So if you are going through some emotional growing pains, and are finding it challenging to move past the stress, the first thing is to forgive and love yourself by taking steps (whether it is the suggested tips here or your own resources) to continue staying in the energy field of unconditional love and connection to and for yourself. Even if it feels like a death of an old life, being re-born into a new one that will continue to be a milestone, is a journey worth embarking on!

Just like the beautiful quote in the beginning of this article states that self-love is acceptance of who you are yet still having the willingness to continue “reaching for the stars” – meaning to always discover ways that intuitively guide you in following what is True for you but still embracing the love for yourself wherever you are at on your journey.

Tangee Veloso-Pueblos is the founder of Family Love Village (FLV),  the world’s leading conscious community, website and iMagazine called the FLVillage Crier for families passionate about parenting through connection and eco-holistic living.   She is also a life coach and author of a conscious parenting book called “Taming Your Wild Child: 7 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Confident Children!”

Her commitment in creating a supportive forum and a conscious parenting movement by co-creating FLVillages globally where families can be educated on parenting through connection from the many legendary trailblazers before her, as well as learn about becoming eco-friendly advocates and supporting a more natural, holistic lifestyle is the main focus for FLV.  Tangee is an eco-mamapreneur, a performer, and a devoted and loving mama to her 6 year old son..

Two More Days until the Celebrate and Shine Retreat! Your Spot Is Still Available!

Two more days and about 15 spots left!

I am bursting with great vibes, excitement, gratitude and more for the Celebrate and Shine Retreat!

This will be one of those "remember it forever" events!

Register at www.march8womensretreat.eventbrite.com

70 extraordinary women already attending!!

March 8 retreat

We are offering Celebrate and Shine Retreat tickets for March 8 or just $45 each.... we are half way to sold out!www.march8womensretreat.eventbrite.com 
Power women panel for wealth manifesting secrets, weight loss and stress relief strategies, and more, food by Jenn Wildtree Cooking with Jen Warr, Drinks by Just Chill, speakers include Tanya Brown - Mental Health Public Speaker and Life Coach, KIM Life Coach, Xiomara Escobar, and Susannah Sprague-Lerma and more!

FREE GIVE AWAY at a Women's Celebration Retreat with Kim Somers Egelsee & Xiomara Escobar

EXCLUSIVE:

Ok ladies and gents, Xiomara Escobar and and myself will be having a Celebration Retreat on March 8, 2015 (also it is International Women's Day) and we are having contest to GIVEAWAY A FREE Ticket to the event!

We all know everyone loves FREEBIES! I sure do! Well we are starting the contest TODAY until February 22, 2015!!!

All YOU need to do is be a fan of my page and Xiomara's:

https://www.facebook.com/tenpluslifecoach

www.facebook.com/XiomaraBeauty

SHARE this post, and COMMENT "Done" once you have completed all 3 and you'll be entered in the drawing to WIN (Bonus points will come randomly throughout these upcoming weeks):

Details:

You get a FREE Ticket to the Event

AND a complete Makeover at the event with hair and makeup so you will feel and look like a ROCKSTAR!!!

Added Bonus: you will also getting a goodie bag with my "Life at a 10Plus Book"!

When Feedback Enables Us to Grow by Kim Somers Egelsee

Let me ask you an important question. Have you ever spent the time to get true feedback?

If we don't have feedback from those we trust, we aren't really sure how the world views us. We might underestimate ourselves, or be uncertain about our strengths and gifts. Feedback can help us know, let out and own our true gifts, talents, abilities, and strengths. It helps us see ourselves as others do. Feedback can enable us to change, grow, repair and adjust, so that we are being our best selves.

I challenge you today to email 8 people you trust with these three questions:

1. How do you see me?

2. What gifts and talents do I have?

3. What is some constructive criticism or feedback you can give me ?

See what happens and how your life changes!

And speaking of feedback, I have very exciting news! The feedback from my Ten Weeks to Confidence Course has been so extraordinary, that we have realized that this program is so much more than confidence. It has deep wisdom, growth, immediate strategies for freedom from stress, fear and blocks. It has lessons in wealth, abundance, prosperity, fuel for success, focus and flow.

So in celebration of this feedback we have decided to rename the course:

Kim Somers Egelsee’s 10 Weeks to Transformation, Wealth, Confidence & Success

This is so rewarding and thrilling that we are pleased to offer you the course for just two payments of $97.

This includes unlimited access for one year to all ten recordings and worksheets, power interviews with over twenty fantastic celebrities, authors and experts, including sales expert Jeffrey Gitomer, well-known lead guitarist for Def Leppard Phil Collen, Fitness guru Amanda Russell, and more.

The course also gives you group coaching calls bi weekly, where you can call in with any questions, advice or feedback on confidence, business, personal life and more.

Sign up today for just two payments of $97!!! www.kimsconfidencecourse.com