5 Ways to Create Space and Feel Clutter-Free ~ By Tangee Veloso

Sometimes as a busy, conscious mom (and an entrepreneur at that), I tend to get so caught up in the moment that I let other areas in my life stack up (literally, as in paperwork, for instance).  You know, there are some things that people are good at and there are some things that it would be best to hire someone else to help you to continue staying good in the other areas of your life that you are more passionate about creating.  

Yes, I am one of those that prefers staying focused on the things that I am good at (which does not include filing and getting rid of stuff that do indeed need letting go of).  And unfortunately most of the time, I would rather use the money for other necessary things, such as paying for rent, bills and groceries than hiring someone to help me clear the muddles of “stuff”.  

But due to certain circumstances that have been happening in my life, I have been faced with confronting my “demons” with clearing space and not just with the bags of paperwork that have been collecting cobwebs but the places in my personal life that too have also been needing a facelift.  

And I have to admit there is something to be said when one actually takes the leap into de-cluttering their space themselves.  A feeling of accomplishment tends to usually follow after recycling, donating and throwing things away.  Recently, this has been my world.  De-cluttering and going through my clothes, my son's clothes and letting go of "things" that I had been holding onto - perhaps reminiscent of memories that I so desperately wanted to hold onto that I now no longer have a desire to.

A very gratifying yet surreal feeling has been washing over me within the past few weeks.  Indeed it has been cleansing for me.  And with most cleanses, there usually tends to be symptoms that follow.  Have you ever done a cleanse where during the process, certain areas of your body start to feel more achy or parts of your skin start to break out due to your body detoxing?  Well this is what has been occurring for me but in a more spiritual and emotional sense.  

And just like doing a cleanse, there are areas in my life that I have been experiencing aches, pains and break outs - or shall I say more like breakthroughs.  Throughout these growing pains, I have become very present to the space that is clearing and not just with my physical things, either.  The clarity that has been arising through the once foggy brain is now transparent to what has been there all along yet was being avoided - like the heaps of papers hidden in brown paper bags.  Like I said, I’m passionate about organizing conscious events and gatherings that I believe in.  Paperwork, eh...not so much!

Yet something has started to come over me lately.  I’m actually doing a complete make-over of my home and I’ve gotta say, it feels really good inside and out!  Throughout this exterior overhaul within these walls, there is definitely a wonderful thing that is happening: the interior of my soul is finally settling into a place I can now call home.  

As I write a new chapter in my life, I have come to fully embrace the fact that in order to create more space, I have to clear the space first.  

So with that said, I wanted to share 5 ways that I have found has helped to create more space in my life that could possibly be helpful whenever you want to make room for more space in yours.   They are:

1. Paint a room - painting a room can be very therapeutic.  It was for me.  This allowed me to slow down from my busy hummingbird energy so that I could really be present to my feelings.  Instead of just always keeping myself busy (which was a tactic to avoidance in one form or another), painting my bedroom became a form of meditation for me.

1. Rearrange furniture - changing up the furniture in a room can really shift the perspective and ambience within the room.  This too has been shared with Feng Shui masters.  Although I didn’t follow any particular protocol, I basically went with what felt light and good to me.  I went with my intuition.

1. Donate - going through your things and donating clothes (especially those that no longer fit), shoes, books, and toys to the homeless is another way to cleanse the home and soul while feeling good about helping others.  

1. Create a rhythm - whether it is meditating in the morning, doing yoga or doing a mind map or vision board of what you want to create in your life - just do it.  And do it consistently.  When you create a rhythm, it allows for more creativity to flow in. 

1. Include your children - allow your children to participate in the space clearing (of course where it is safe to).  Get no VOC paint so they can paint the room with you.  Ask them what they would like to add in the vision board.  And if the furniture is too heavy for them to help rearrange, include them in talking about where things will be moved to so that they feel they are a vital part of the family decisions.  The more you invite them in the process, the more it models to them how they too can clear space for themselves, on the physical level and emotionally, as well. 

De-cluttering the physical “stuff” in my home has been such an important reflection for me with needing to let go of things personally in order for new space to be born.  This had been something I had been working on all year long but I had barely touched the surface until now.  I am finding such a comforting warmth coming to life within my home and more importantly within me.  And I have found, when you begin to peel the layers of the areas needing to be emptied, you will soon find that all areas of your life (physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially) can now become more full of the good "stuff" that you are wanting to manifest.

Tangee Veloso is the founder of Family Love Village (FLV),  the world’s leading conscious community, website and iMagazine called the FLVillage Crier for families passionate about parenting through connection and eco-holistic living.   She is also the author of a conscious parenting book called “Taming Your Wild Child: 7 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Confident Children!” 

Her commitment in creating a supportive forum and a conscious parenting movement where families can be educated on parenting through connection from the many legendary trailblazers before her, as well as learn about becoming eco-friendly advocates and supporting a more natural, holistic lifestyle is the main focus for FLV.  Tangee is an eco-mamapreneur, a performer, and a loving mama to her 5 year old son.

Confessions of a Mama Wanna Be ~ By Alexis Carra

I want to be a mom. I do.  I want to be one of those Lululemon-wearing, bad-ass-stroller-pushing moms who has ripped shoulder muscles, better abs than before my kids, and an ass like a shelf.  I see those hot, “perfect” moms, usually in Beverly Hills or in Orange County if I’m down there for some random reason. I see them and I stare, perhaps inappropriately—my grandmother always taught me never to stare—, and yet I stare not out of judgment or scrutiny but out of curiosity and awe. How do these women manage to look so perfect and be moms? Do they have careers? Or did they let go of their careers to stay home with their children? I start to retreat into my own head making up stories about who these women are and what they do. I have all these limiting beliefs around Mamahood: I won’t be as attractive, my husband will love me only because I’m the mother of his kids (and is that a bad thing?), I will have zero time to focus on any other interests except taking care of my children, and the list goes on and on. A lot of these beliefs come from what other women realistically share about being a mom, and I appreciate their candor and honesty about how hard it is balancing motherhood, wifehood, and career-hood. 

I also know that it is very narrow perspective of a particular socioeconomic class of upper/middle class, educated people which—let’s be honest—I am a part of.  And still I see these women and I wonder: will I be the mess of the mom group who hasn’t lost the baby weight, whose workout pants are too tight and pull along the seams where the stitching is falling apart, who can’t seem to get my sex drive back into first gear, and oh yeah my kid is the one always crying because I haven’t been able to breast feed? Let me not forget to mention I also want to have a career, make a real difference in this world, have a loving relationship with my husband, and be there for my kid’s Pop Warner games and arts and crafts projects.  Phew!  I’m slowly starting to realize that perhaps my neurosis is a reflection of a much broader concern I see in women (mom or not): perfectionism.  

Most of the women I know are under a lot of pressure.  My friends are all ambitious, big players in life, but I notice—and I include myself in this—a lot of the pressure comes from me, and this need to be perfect, to be it all and to do it all—all the time! Why do women feel the need to be perfect?  Another member of TNH, Cristina Cimerello summed it up beautifully:

“I think the interesting thing here is why women feel they must be perfect: we fought so hard to be here and equal, and we had to go above and beyond so long to ‘prove’ it, and that's something we inherited from the generation before us, that the media berates us with, and that we've bought into … Men don't have this unrealistic pressure on themselves, why do women?”

The recent media fiasco centered on Rene Zellweger highlights this insane contradiction in society where women are forced into an ideal of beauty or perfection and then ridiculed or shamed when they are striving to achieve it.  The same irony exists in motherhood in the media, and I am one of those guilty ones who glances at the trashy magazine toting “Kim Kardashian Can’t Lose the Baby Weight”—or wait is it that she CAN lose it?—I can’t keep track.  Even though I don’t buy those magazines, we are inundated with this type of sensationalist, superficial media in our storytelling and in what we focus on as a society.   

So here’s my confession: I am one of those perfectionist women who want it all, and I want it all because I say so. I want to look good, feel good, have a family, and be financially free. Yes, I said it—I want it all.  It doesn’t mean it’s going to look a certain way or feel a certain way all the time—for example, I know that to get the body I want to have post-baby I will be exhausted on some days (ok most days) and have to push myself to run or take the 20 minutes I may have to do Pilates at home in between feedings while Critter Jr. takes a nap. I’m going to feel exhausted, frustrated and scared. My friend said to me the other day: “The reality is you’re going to have poop on your clothes, be so tired you’ll fall asleep standing up someday and you might miss a moment in your child’s life because of work.”  I think our obsession with perfection starts right inside our own minds and hearts, and we can transform that with simple little reminders that we are perfect the way we are—with wrinkles and an extra 10 pounds. As a “Mama Wannabe” I think it stems from the mentality of how we present motherhood or talk about how scary it can be, even while it is still exciting and desirous. 

Recently, my boyfriend and I were on our first trip together, and we were both sharing that being with the person we want to have a family with is a priority. It was a romantic vacation in Hawaii where a lot of couples honeymoon, and we were on a gorgeous hike through bamboo trees, waterfalls, and luscious forest.  As we were hiking we spotted a family of four: a mom, dad, and two girls, both over the age of 8 or 9 but not teenagers yet. I could tell we were both having the same thought: that poor dad surrounded by women! We passed them on the way up, and then ran into them again on our way down, our pace much faster than a family with tons of baggage and kids. As we passed, we noticed the dad holding the youngest daughter who was too big and old to really be held. She was covering more than half his body, and her long, blonde hair was seeping over his face. We could see he was in good shape, but he was struggling and reassuring her at the same time. We offered encouragement, passed the father/daughter duo and 20 yards later came across the mother/daughter team.  We graciously let them know that the dad was up a ways carrying the youngest. Mom (one of those cross-fit, cut moms) said, “Oh yeah, it’s been a rough hike… Katie has to poo. What am I doing to my poor family?!?” We casually laughed and said our goodbyes and went on our not-married-no-kids way. About a minute of silence later we both looked at each other and laughed. “Wow—family vacation!” I said out loud. The rest of the hike we kept joking about Katie having to poo. 

That scenario captures perfectly where the reality of parenthood changes the entire paradigm of life. It really isn’t about me any longer; a nice hike in a luscious forest, and—oh wait, Katie has to poo and can no longer hike! 

True Confession: I’m scared. I’m scared that I will fail and won’t have it all or be it all, that I will lose myself so much that I won’t even know who I am anymore. And at the same time, I’m excited to love another human being so selflessly and unconditionally. The duality exists around becoming a mother like it does around most huge decisions in life. It’s normal to feel fear. And the question I’m asking: is that fear the exact thing that inhibits a person from enjoying how rewarding parenthood is in the moment when all of it is actually happening? Maybe now is the time for me to shift my perception and desire for something that is only an idea of what “having it all” means. And I think this relates to any area of life—fitness, love, money… you name, we want it.  Elizabeth Gilbert recently said in her Oprah Soul Sunday talk: “Here's what I'm going to tell you about your fear: It's the most boring thing about you … The most interesting thing about you is your creativity, your passion, your love, your joy, your faith — all that stuff is fascinating."

I’m declaring now: I’m on a “Mama Wannabe Mission,” to be the best mother to myself and to live life with compassion and real understanding. Somehow I think being a loving, fearless, passionate mother is going to be a truer, more lasting legacy than being a mom with a tight ass and abs. 

And yes, I still want and can have both!

You can follow Alexis on Twitter @alexiscarra and for further info and updates check out alexiscarra.com

*Please note that not all experiences, beliefs and ideas are shared by each member of the “The New Hollywood.” We are a group of shepherds, not sheep.

Polishing My Stones - By Kim Somers-Egelsee

The other day I was working on redoing part of my backyard. There are hundreds of river rocks all over the edges of the yard to add beauty, but they were covered with dirt, leaves and mud. I wondered if I should just give up and throw the rocks away to start anew. However, I decided not to waste such pretty stones, and began cleaning them individually until all of the grime and dust was off. I then was able to place them back in my yard, shiny and new.

I thought to myself that the river rocks were a lot like people's lives. A beautiful person goes through trials, tribulations, and difficulties in their life (the dirt, leaves and mud), but when they feel the feelings and work through it, continuously improving themself (cleaning off the grime), they emerge a shining, happy, peaceful being, like new, just like the shiny new stones!

Being a Mother in Life - By Kim Somers-Egelsee

Being a mother in life, passion and health, we still sometimes get overwhelmed or feel out of balance. An effective way to relieve this feeling is to ask for help. Have a support system. Asking for help can sometimes be difficult. We may feel that in doing so, we are being weak or even silly. However, everyone can use help, mentoring, coaching or advice in their life. Relationships are what keep life vibrant, joyful and fun!  Great thinkers and wealth builders of the world got to where they were with the help of others, their mastermind group, and even their families. Every time you ask for help or advice, feel strong! You are gaining new knowledge, growth and bettering yourself all at the same time. It is a huge way to move forward fearlessly, taking steps daily to greatness.

Accepting help, kindness and generosity from friends and loved ones is an exceptional thing. It makes you feel loved and supported, and the other person feels great also. The important thing is to use this assistance as a growth experience. For example, if Mary is short on the rent by $500, and her best friend gives the money to her with no questions asked, Mary is secure for the month. Now that she is stable, she should use this opportunity to take steps toward earning the money herself for next month’s rent, even saving some. If Mary uses her friend’s generosity again the next month to borrow money again, her friend may begin to feel resentful. Instead, Mary can show her best friend appreciation by using that experience to get ahead.

It is great to receive, but when one ends up leaning on others too much, and not coming up with their own decisions, steps and plans, they end up becoming co-dependent on others, which can lead to loss of their true self, confidence, inner purpose, and drive. The key is to accept generosity, learn and grow from it, and then give back by helping someone else. This will help you to be an even better mom, have strong self esteem, and the courage to move forward in your life.

Be Grateful - By Kim Somers Egelsee

Starting today, tell at least one person a day that you are grateful for something. You could thank them for an opportunity that they have given you, comment that you are so glad it is a beautiful day outside, appreciate someone's smile, and let them know it has lifted your spirits, or even call your friend just to tell them something nice.

Having gratitude uplifts your day, your life, your being. If you are having a bad day, speaking gratitude out loud will actually change your brain and thoughts to the positive, and interrupt that negativity.

Another way to add a positive zing to your life with gratitude is to wake up and be thankful for the day, your body, your health, your family. Even if you're feeling less than amazing, this gratitude energy will give you that extra percent of zest that you need to start your day. 

Now, go try it!

Leadership Skills for Managers ~ By Ahtisham Khero

LEADERSHIP SKILLS FOR MANAGERS

We see in almost every organization managerial positions. They are hired to manage and work as a liaison among the top management and staff. But what is the role of a manager? And do they need leadership skills to be effective managers for their respectable companies?

What is a manager and what does a manager do?

In my opinion, a manager is the one who helps others to get their job done.  The one who may be planning, directing, hiring, delegating, organizing, assigning, disciplining and controlling and doing regular office routine stuff.

• He directs the work, rather than performing it.
• He is responsible for hiring, firing, training and disciplining employees.
• He exercises the authority
• He serves as a bridge between employees and upper management.

On the other hand, what does a leader do?

• Serves to create new aims
• Initiates a new course of action
• Strives to make a difference
• Is willing to sacrifice
• Exhibits positive energy
• Welcomes change

Leaders are never born or made but there are a few characteristics that leaders have to adopt. And those characteristics are:

• COURAGE

A leader who dares to do something outside of the box? And when one decides to go outside of the box, he should be prepared for opposition. One tool that I am sharing for this preparation is called the ABCD Approach…

A= Anticipate Objection

Anticipate objection means don’t restrict yourself because of fear of opposition or hard criticism.  Just take the constructive feedback and foresee. Look forward with courage to move on.

B= Benefitize

This term is used to see what benefits can be achieved and delivered ahead to others. 

C= Categorize

Arrange it in phases as it could be executed.  Most of the time thinking outside of the idea box is not easy to execute if it is not classified properly.

D= Then Develop your plan.

You need to have a complete plan from start to the end along with all course of actions at every phase.

• PRIDE

It is also one of the characteristics of leadership. Not only does a leader take pride in his accomplishments, he also creates an atmosphere that allows others to do the same.

• INFLUENCE

The key to a leader in today’s era is influence, not authority. Leaders know how to influence others; how to persuade them to a higher calling. They guide others with getting things done by motivating them.

• MULTILINGUAL ABILITIES

It was Joseph Juran, who noted that two languages are spoken in an organization.

1. “LANGUAGE OF THINGS” - spoken by non-managerial officers, supervisors and employees.
2. “LANGUAGE OF MONEY” - spoken by pop-management because their focus is to generate revenue and grow.

Joseph Juran emphasizes for the managers that lead, it would be wise for them to also be bilingual. 

CONCLUSION:

Leadership is always an exciting path to pursue. Leadership in this new millennium is like a colorful highway on which traffic moves on breakneck speed. If you have accepted today’s business arena then you should go beyond your managerial role. You should have faith in your courage, pride, sincerity and adaptability, along with an organizational bilingual approach. If you are able to speak more than one business language, you will have the confidence to influence others in a positive direction that will not only inspire yourself as a leader but will definitely inspire your team as a whole.

"Blood Moon Returning" - By The Word Pimpstress (a.k.a. Tangee Veloso)

Awhile back, I had featured a friend of mine, Tangee Veloso and an interview she was a part of that shared her confidence in life (See post here).


Today I wanted to share a beautiful poem that she wrote in honor of the blood moon we just recently had on Oct 8th that expresses her confidence even more.

"Blood Moon Returning" ~ 

By The Word Pimpstress (a.k.a Tangee Veloso)

Hello there...is it really you?
I see you’ve come back again this year
to play the shadow
in order for me to see the light...

La Luna in its fullness
Emanating beauty
I bathe in your moonbeams tonight...

Merely 6 months ago 
I sat in the wee hours of the morn
where the dead grass lay
and the freeze-dried petals
would soon slip away

I allowed you to comfort me that night
as I peeled away the layers
and had shed those lonely tears

And now you are back
and it is warmth and gratitude that I feel
The celebration of new beginnings...
No longer do I ache for the empty yesteryears

It looks like we are once again 
two energies burning the midnight oil
What with you, wearing your crimson cloak
Soon to be camouflaged into the Obsidian night

While I sit here
Pondering...moved to write
To touch my fingertips to the keys
in order to make music with my words tonight.

Just hours before
the sky was to tick tock
into its Onyx state,
There we were:
Warrior boy 
with his long raven hair
and I

We offered chocolate rocks 
and shared loving energy 
as our gifts for you to celebrate.
Oh such healing bliss 
to witness 
that over time can procreate...

Just 6 months prior

When you first arrived
I was at a bridge in my life
Hurt, lonely and scared

What would happen if I did it?
And stepped onto the edge
to jump into the unknown
To tread waters on my own?

Oh so grateful that I had the courage 
to leap off of that ledge
in order to follow my Truth...

Trusting the process…
Even in blinded sight
I jumped in wounded flight
For you were the darkened reflection
in order for me to BE the light.

Yes my friend...
this time around
that you have come along
I rise as empowered strength
For I am still woman, still goddess

and always will be Mother to a new dawn…


Tangee Veloso is a Ten + Life Coach and conscious parenting expert, speaker, author and founder of Family Love Village.

You can also watch her episode of Passion Power Confidence TV: www.youtube.com/user/ppctheshow

Make Vacation Time a Priority! ~ by Guest Author, Jeanette Ortega

Benefits of Taking a Vacation!

We all become so involved and overwhelmed with careers, family, obligations and just the run of the mill daily life that we tend to push vacation aside and don't view it as a priority.  Why is that?  In other countries it's the opposite.  Vacation or "holiday" as they call it is their priority.  When we take some time away for ourselves we re-align ourselves with what truly matters most to us.  We give our minds and bodies permission to relax, to have stillness and take in the beauty and wonders of the world.  We allow our brains to shut off from the craziness and this in turn allows for new ideas, creativity and passion to flow.

I am a beach lover…I belong by the ocean!  For me, it reconnects me to just how precious and beautiful life is.  It calms me and reminds me that in the scheme of things my worries are merely my opportunity for growth, change and to evolve.  I am reminded of gratitude for this beautiful world, I feel overwhelming love and a peacefulness that I know God truly intended for all of us to experience on a daily basis.

Next time you question yourself whether or not to take some time away…JUST GO and see how it shifts your focus on what really is important to you in life.  Namasta! ~ Jeanette.

Jeanette Ortega has 15 years experience in the fitness industry.  She is ACE Certified, CPR Certified, and a Nationally Ranked Fitness/Bikini Competitor.  She has extensive training in dietary consultation, weight training, cardiovascular training, boot camps, boxing, core conditioning, injury rehabilitation, children's fitness, senior training and fitness competition training. 

"Every once in awhile we all need to be pushed, motivated and driven..these are all elements I am extremely familiar with and these are many of the reasons that inspired me to compete for Ms. Fitness USA. I was in a slump, unhappy with my body image, lack of energy and just plain tired of feeling uncomfortable. I have been in the fitness industry for over 15 years and still I needed a push, something more. I had always wanted to compete for Ms. Fitness since my early 20's but hadn't reached that mental state, one day it just clicked, I was tired of my rut and decided to make a change for the better and WOW, what a difference a year makes!

Your dreams can happen once you set your mind to it, my body shape and image changed so dramatically that I became my own billboard and my personal training grew to new heights. It's never been easy, I struggled and had many hard days but when it's your passion, the desire never dies."

Bold Living by Kim Somers Egelsee

I DARE you to post 5-10 of some of the exciting experiences that have made you BOLDER! 

Here are mine 

1. Swam and snorkeled in the Great Barrier Reef on several trips 

2. Lived on a pearl diving boat for a week in Raffles Bay, Australia; had to yell when walking on the island so no ocean crocodiles would get us.

3. Performed dances at  large event venues.

4. Sang back up  in a rock group (  at House of Blues, Ujena Jam; Puerto Vallarta and more)

5.  Did a Tedx talk

6. Had two beautiful children and lost all the weight both times

7. Work out w a very tough personal trainer :)

8. Modeled bathing suits on a runway, in Puerto Vallarta, in Cabo while riding on a very fast banana boat and more.

9. Worked w adults with severe behavior problems such as schizophrenia in dangerous situations.

10. Planned, lead and spoke at over 100 of my own events, workshops and group meetings in just three years!

EMBRACE YOUR INNER CHILD DAILY

EMBRACE YOUR INNER CHILD DAILY 

By Kim Somers Egelsee

So many of us take life way too seriously. Life needs to be embraced, lived to the fullest, celebrated, and honored. Therefore, it is important to just let go, act silly, show and give love, do the things that you loved as a child such as building a sand castle, coloring, doing a cartwheel. 

I give you permission to embrace your inner child. Who made the rules that we have to be so proper, stuffy and serious? I guarantee you the ones who are jumping up and down at that concert, wearing a bit of purple in their hair, laughing hysterically with their friends, and going to the fun events are the happiest. They are the ones who others want to be with, learn from and hug.

Take this advice and use it in your work outs. Hula hoop in the grass, run through the sprinklers, and go dance at the exciting event you were invited to. You will not only get fit and burn calories, but will ease tension and stress too.

So make sure to spend that quality time with your parents, best friend or new connection. Go to that fun filled evening you were invited to. Take the time a few hours per week to volunteer at the local animal rescue. 

Speak up for what you feel is right. Love others without worrying what they think. Act silly, even if you get that feeling others think you are a dork. WHO CARES? 

You want to reallllllllllly LIVE! Embrace, hug and kiss life! Appreciate you! See the beauty, the good and the unique all around you. 

That's what it's all about!